The PDA Way

The last 2-3 weeks have been quite difficult with Little C, more-so than usual. We’re not sure why or what has triggered it. Possibly the lead up to Christmas? but I’m not convinced this is the issue as it started early November and given that he doesn’t really go anywhere he wouldn’t be aware of all the Christmas hype in the outside world.  His stammer and tics are through the roof and he is hyperactive to the extreme. Bouncing around from morning til very late at night. Almost like he’s in a manic state. He is wanting to dominate and control everything and everyone to a really high level and we’ve had some major outbursts. It’s like walking on egg shells, one small thing and he could blow. This morning for example his feet were cold and I suggested putting socks on or getting under the fleece blanket ….but no, he only wanted to warm them on my face!! (it’s ok, you can laugh - I know it’s funny). The fact I said no made him feel the need to do it even more and things quickly spira...

I’ve had messages recently from friends and family asking how Little C is getting on at his new school. So I thought I’d do a post just to update anyone who is interested. Just a re-cap, Little C has a place at a resource base (or Specialist Resource Provision as some areas call them). It is a small class attached to a mainstream school, with its own playground and facilities and a higher ratio of adults to children. All the children in the base have SEND of some kind. We chose this school ourselves as it was without a doubt the best match for Little C’s needs and way of learning. What I love about this provision is that each child is taught according to their needs. It’s almost a bespoke education and the staff will sneak learning into play for children like Little C who are highly resistant to learning the traditional way. The majority of the day is ‘continuous provision’ (play based learning) with some children having one-to-one teaching or in small groups throughout the day. It’s j...

I’ve been trying to get Little C mixing and socialising a bit more but he’s quite resistant. We are starting slowly with a new group this afternoon where there will be just four children, all with SEND. I haven’t told him yet as he’ll likely build it up too much and then say he doesn’t want to (can’t) go. I’ll gently spring it on him nearer the time and hope for the best. I wanted to talk about low-demand parenting in this post (there is a full post about it here  https://thepdaway.blogspot.com/2022/04/parenting-pda-way.html    where I give examples etc). I know some people don’t get it and think it’s lazy parenting. When I hear people have made comments about how we do things it doesn’t anger me (anymore) but it does play on my mind a bit and makes me want to explain it further. Ideally to them face to face - but via my blog will have to do.  Just imagine for one minute that your child  hates school. Is terrified of school. To the point where they feel they mig...

Things are still going pretty good for the moment. Little C is still having the odd bath. He had another hair cut last week and nails cut last week too. We also had a lovely - but not relaxing - four days at the caravan in Llandullas.  Myself and Little C’s dad are pretty much tag-teaming in looking after him as he is so full-on and demanding. We don’t get much time with each other, maybe 20 minutes sat in the garden a few times a week, and at the caravan it was the same.  We’ve been trying to prepare Little C for the new school in September but until recently he wouldn’t even hear the word ‘school’ without shouting, covering his ears or running out of the room. But now he’s thinking he might like to have a look at one. He’ll probably change his mind but the fact he’s willing to even think about it is good. We’ve told him though that there is no pressure and he won’t be forced into going (like he was in the past  🙁 ). I’m still not sure if this is going to happen. Little...

Completely out of the blue a week ago, Little C announced that he’d like to try having a bath. His last bath being 10th June 2022 (can you believe I know that exact date). Since that date it’s just been sponge washing with a bowl of soapy water. Until last week that is. A week on and he has asked for a bath every night. Even a hair wash one night. He is loving his baths, has new bath toys and actually looks forward to his bath. He plays water drums, splashing his hands making beats and lying down completely pretending to be a mer-man. Who would ever believe this?  It reminds me of the car issue. Where Little C couldn’t travel by car for almost a year and then suddenly decided to try it again. Car journeys are still difficult and there are rituals that need to be followed and he can still only do short journeys but that’s okay, at least we can go out.  He’s also had a hair cut at the barbers last month and his nails cut a week ago. He looks (and smells) like a prince.   No...

  Hi, I’m back!  It’s been a long while since I updated my blog.  Its still getting hits most days, and often outside of the uk too, so people are somehow stumbling upon my blog and I still hope at some point that I’ll be able to share more of what worked for us. I also still strongly feel that it’s important that people understand the PDA side of autism more.   A post on Mumsnet has really angered me this morning, the usual malarkey of how ASD and ADHD are over diagnosed and instead of labelling them we should all learn to parent our naughty children better! I, of course, replied to the post but I can’t and won’t be reading any more of it. It’s clear that there are many people out there who are lucky enough to be oblivious to the challenges some kids face, and so my blog is still important if for that reason alone. So ‘thank you’ to that ignorant person on Mumsnet for giving me the nudge I needed to update my blog!  So with that bit over, I’ll tell you all the ...