Back to school (or not?)

I’ve had messages recently from friends and family asking how Little C is getting on at his new school. So I thought I’d do a post just to update anyone who is interested.

Just a re-cap, Little C has a place at a resource base (or Specialist Resource Provision as some areas call them). It is a small class attached to a mainstream school, with its own playground and facilities and a higher ratio of adults to children. All the children in the base have SEND of some kind. We chose this school ourselves as it was without a doubt the best match for Little C’s needs and way of learning.

What I love about this provision is that each child is taught according to their needs. It’s almost a bespoke education and the staff will sneak learning into play for children like Little C who are highly resistant to learning the traditional way. The majority of the day is ‘continuous provision’ (play based learning) with some children having one-to-one teaching or in small groups throughout the day. It’s just perfect and this way of learning is ideal for a lot of children. 

The resource base has children from Year 1 through to 6, so a mixture of ages and abilities. None of the local specialist schools or provisions had any spaces available when Little C’s EHCP was drawn up so we always knew we’d be waiting for a place. His place was finally available this year and he is now in Year 3. 

So this is where our problem arises. Little C will have been out of school for two years in October. Two years of pretty much nothing (unschooling). Not our choice but it was the only option. A large chunk of this time Little C refused to even leave the house, or travel anywhere by car. So to try to get him back into school is a mammoth task. 

He has memories of his previous school experience which still upset him greatly. I won’t go into details but I have done a post about it before  (here  https://thepdaway.blogspot.com/2022/04/school-refusal.html )

Little C associates school with too much noise, smells, feeling sick and dizzy, having to sit still, not understanding things, rules, behaviour charts that scared him, having to do things a certain way, feeling out of control and just constant fear. Then once he got home, extreme exhaustion. It’s no wonder he’s afraid of going back. 

So, the burning question …has he been yet? 

The answer is yes, he has! I got him there last week, not once but twice. 

Did he like it? Yes he did! 

He is still extremely anxious and I stayed with him, sat in the tiny kitchen area twiddling my thumbs! He stayed for about an hour both times. The first visit he played with a teacher. The second visit he made some friends. 

We haven’t bought a uniform as that will be a massive trigger for Little C and his demand avoidance will kick in as soon as he sees it. I have bought plain white and grey t-shirts, and grey and black shorts. I think wearing a uniform is a long way off yet. 

Realistically I can’t imagine him ever going full time wearing a uniform. I could be wrong though, I’ve been wrong before. For the moment, I’m not looking too far ahead. Just taking one week at a time and we’ll see how it goes.

Big hugs to anyone out there having similar struggles. You’re not on your own. Follow your child’s lead and remember school isn’t for everyone. I’ve put a couple of sites below that might help if this is something you are dealing with right now 

https://notfineinschool.co.uk

https://www.teamsquarepeg.org