Learning through play

I recently played on the Xbox with Little C. It’s something I’ve purposely avoided and left to Little C’s dad and Big C. Technology and gaming isn’t really my thing. But earlier this week I was tired and I’d just made a brew so I gave in for the simple fact that I could play from the comfort of the settee! 

Little C is very difficult to play with, both in person as well as when gaming. He dominates the games, changes the rules to suit himself, struggles with taking turns, is impatient, angry and gets bored very quickly. We’ve tried to teach him some of these skills but it’s very hard to get him to think any differently. He sees himself as being the leader and that rules just don’t apply to him. He is incredibly fixed in this way of thinking.

We played Minecraft first and he had me throw the contents of my ‘chest’ to him. I didn’t realise at the time that he was basically taking everything in my chest and putting it in his! Then we played a game called Rush and although he designed his own character, when it came to mine he chose what my character looked like - hair, gender, clothes. It looked nothing like me but he insisted it was called ‘mum’. He dictated what I was ‘allowed’ to do, (I just had to collect gold coins whilst he did all the challenges and everything else). Lastly we played Pikuniku and I absolutely loved this game! It’s a simple, fun game where you control little blobs with legs and work as a team solving puzzles to open pathways and press buttons. I’d definitely recommend this game for children (especially siblings) who are overly competitive or have issues with losing. 

Even basic board/box games like Pop the Pig and Connect Four are not fun to play with Little C. He makes rules that he insists we follow and will lose his temper and lash out if we deviate from them. I try to explain that without the proper rules the game isn’t fun for anyone else and he seems genuinely puzzled by this and clearly thinks that if he is having fun then everyone else must be too. 

I totally understand why Big C doesn’t particularly enjoy playing with Little C. It takes monumental patience and can be frustrating and monotonous. 

Occasionally Little C will play on his own with toys or figures but never for very long. When he’s not gaming or bossing one of us around in a role-play game, he spends a lot of his time playing a repetitive imaginary game by himself. The game involves him marching round the room making weird noises (we call it beatboxing!) - it can go on for hours (a whole new is post needed to explain this properly!). He also lines things up a lot - quite a stereotypical autistic thing I know. Something to do with order I think?

So as hard as Little C is to play with, we know he learns best through play and so we’ll continue playing his games. Always trying very gently to remind him of fairness and hopefully helping to develop his interpersonal skills. I’ll even play with him on the Xbox again if I have to, I actually quite enjoyed it!